Joba's 'shush' scandal is not Yankees-like

May, 15, 2013
5/15/13
11:30
AM ET
 Joba ChamberlainElsa/Getty ImagesDoes this look like a guy who would take kindly to being shushed?
It was the “shush” heard 'round the world.

Yankees closer Mariano Rivera shushed fellow reliever Joba Chamberlain before Saturday’s game. Minutes later, Chamberlain told Rivera: “Don’t ever shush me.”

Yes, it was that bad. Things got crazy. One minute we had a regular pregame between the Yankees and Royals. The next we had the biggest shushing-related scandal between pitchers who aren’t good enough to be starters in baseball history.

The hammer then came down on Chamberlain. Hard. He was universally chastised for his loud-talking ways and for daring to tell a Yankees legend to not shush him.

Chamberlain was a loose cannon! Chamberlain was not exhibiting the class befitting a Yankee! Chamberlain should be traded or released posthaste!

Talking loudly to your family and then getting annoyed that you’ve been told to shush is simply not something a true Yankee can do. No. No way. It is something with which we will not put up.

What can a Yankees player do? Any of the following.

• Get linked to performance-enhancing drugs.

Admit to taking HGH.

Wear a gold thong under your uniform.

• Take obscure performance-enhancing drugs.

• Sweat all over a piece of baseball history.

• Get linked to illegal gambling.

Faux apologize for taking steroids.

Swap wives with a teammate.

• Never bother to learn the names of half of your teammates.

Flirt with women behind the dugout during the playoffs.

• Break your hand punching a wall.

Release a scent.

Testify in federal court against a former teammate.

• Get linked to PEDs yet again.

Womanize and overeat.

But telling a teammate not to shush you when you’re talking to your family? Simply not acceptable.

Joba must go.

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