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Monday, January 14, 2013
Posh and Sporty: Our Golden Globes-NFL awards!

By Sarah Spain

The Golden Globe Awards marks, hands-down, one of my favorite days of the year. The hours of coverage, from the red carpet to the actual show, appeal to my girly, Posh Spain side (Dresses! Jewelry! Boys in tuxes!).

For the past few years, the ritual has been the same: Beach myself on the couch, order Chinese takeout and settle in for an all-day laze-fest in front of the boob tube. This year, I skipped the MSG in favor of salad and "flatbread," which is really just a fancy word that lets you convince yourself you didn't eat a whole thin crust pizza by yourself (basically, I totally did).

The awards fell on the same weekend as the NFL's divisional playoffs, upping the drama and intrigue, and giving my Sporty Spain side a full day of football (Great catches! Crazy comebacks! Boys in tight pants!).

While the red carpet and football field may seem like two different worlds, the Golden Globe nominees and four NFL teams in action Sunday share a lot. They all have major jitters, serious pre-game prep (swap out carbo-loading for juice cleansing and stretching for tanning) and know their legacies could be on the line.

So, in honor of the day's big plays, big wins, big hair and big disappointments, I give you my Golden Globes/Divisional Playoff Day Awards. Er, GGDPDA for short.

Best Male in a Starring Role

Ben Affleck: Affleck's film, "Argo," not only won Best Motion Picture Drama, he also took home Best Director honors, beating out the likes of Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino. The win is especially sweet after the Oscars gave Affleck the Heisman at last week's nominations, leaving him out of the best director category.

Tom Brady: Two of his offensive weapons were sidelined by injury in the first quarter, but the Patriots QB didn't flinch. He threw for 344 yards and three touchdowns to help New England beat the Houston Texans 41-28 and advance to the AFC title game, proving once again he can bring out the best in anyone (ahem, Shane Vereen).

Biggest Burn

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler: The Golden Globes hosts were pitch perfect, but here are the money quotes. Poehler on "Zero Dark Thirty" director Kathryn Bigelow: "When it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." And Fey on Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Fantine in "Les Miserables": "I haven't seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars."

Richard Sherman: The Seattle Seahawks corner, famous for taunting opponents on the field and Twitter, got torched on a touchdown pass to Atlanta Falcons wide receiver Roddy White early in Sunday's game. When White approached Sherman to give him a taste of his own smack-talking medicine, Sherman was at a loss and could only muster up a "golf clap."

Best Comeback

Claire Danes: The "Homeland" actress, who gave birth to a baby boy less than a month ago, stunned in a slinky Versace gown that showed off an unbelievable post-pregnancy body. (I literally almost don't believe she physically birthed a child in late December.) Danes said of donning the red number, "I'm hoping I don't leak!" TMI, Agent Mathison!

Russell Wilson and the Seahawks: A game that seemed over at halftime got seriously scintillating when the Seahawks clawed and scratched their way back into it. Wilson & Co. did enough to take a one-point lead with 30 seconds left, but the Seattle D didn't stop the Falcons from getting a game-winning field goal with eight seconds remaining. They didn't get the win (Atlanta edged Seattle 30-28), but boy, did the Seahawks stage one hell of a comeback.

Most Awkward Moment

Dead silence: The teleprompter operator at the Golden Globes must not have been paying attention, or perhaps technology failed. Either way, presenters Salma Hayek and Paul Rudd were left hemming and hawing on stage for nearly 30 seconds with no script. A little improv or friendly banter would have been nice, but alas, the audience was left with awkward pleasantries like Rudd's "How's everybody going? Good? All right, great."

Pete Carroll: The Seahawks coach took a time out just before Falcons kicker Matt Bryant kicked a potential game-winning 49-yarder. Bryant missed the kick, but it didn't count because of the time out. Carroll was incensed, yelling at the refs that he didn't ask for a T.O., but the replay footage clearly showed he did. With one try under his belt, Bryant made the second kick for the win.

The Playing Through Pain Award

Lena Dunham: It was a big night for "Girls" creator, writer and star as she was won Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical and "Girls" won Best Series Musical or Comedy. While Dunham's awkwardness is part of her charm, there was nothing charming about how many minutes it took for her to get to the stage in what I can only assume were shoes made of knives. Kudos, Lena, for fighting through the pain to rock super-cute shoes, but next time, just wear flip-flops.

Rob Gronkowski: In just his second game back from a forearm injury, the Patriots tight end re-injured his arm and will miss the rest of the season. He wanted to play, but X-rays reportedly showed he had re-broken the forearm. The Gronker was limited by a high-ankle sprain in last year's Super Bowl; this year, the team will have to go the rest of the way without him.

Best Celebration

Sofia Vergara: When the nominees for Best Supporting Actress in a Musical or Comedy were announced Sunday, the "Modern Family" stunner clapped enthusiastically and screamed "Wooooo!" when her name was called. She didn't win the award, but it was a refreshing change from the humble smile-and-nod of every other nominee.

Brandon Spikes: The Patriots linebacker busted out a dance move that was part-worm, part first-down-signal after it appeared his team would take over possession on a Texans fumble. The refs overturned the call, but Spikes still won the play.

Bad Sportsmanship Award

Taylor Swift: The sugary-sweet pop singer who has made a career out of playing the victim showed her dark side for a moment after losing to Adele in the Original Song category. Just after the Brit's name was announced, the camera cut to Swift flashing the stink eye, followed by the world's fakest smile. Later in the show, Fey got in two good jabs about Swift's love life, so any day now we can expect a top 10 song inspired by the singer's intense hatred for both women.

J.J. Watt: The All-American, uber-likeable Texans defensive end was reportedly caught spitting on the Patriots' logo before Sunday's contest. Watt told reporters that he spits at midfield before every game, home or away, and it was no big deal. Whether or not that's true, Watt should save his spittle for the locker room or somewhere less obvious. Spitting on the other team's logo just isn't a classy move.

Best Dressed

Kate Hudson and Katharine McPhee: Presenter Hudson was elegant and beautiful in a sleek, black Alexander McQueen sheath with gold detail at the neck and waist. The keyhole neckline was subtly sexy and her loose hair and makeup allowed her natural beauty to shine. McPhee's sexy Theyskens' Theory gown left little to the imagination, with an up-to-here leg slit and barely-there top. The "Smash" star completed the bold, beautiful look with a loose top-knot, a sultry, smoky eye and killer drop earrings.

Tom Brady: Brady wins again, this time for that adorable sideline hat with the pompom on top. Any other grown man might look like a fool walking around in that hat, but, of course, Mr. Gisele pulled it off.

Worst Dressed

Lucy Liu and Jessica Chastain: A presenter at the show, Liu's Carolina Herrera gown looked like repurposed old-lady drapes or the pattern on a decorative box of Kleenex tissue. Chastain, who won for Best Actress in a Drama for her role in "Zero Dark Thirty," wore a pale blue Calvin Klein dress with sagging breast pouches positioned roughly half an inch above her belly button. You're better than that, ladies!

Bill Belichick: The Patriots coach manages to make even regulation Nike NFL gear look bad. Belichick wore his traditional sporty hobo uniform: A hooded sweatshirt with frayed-edged short sleeves, a long-sleeve navy undershirt, navy warm-up pants and a frown.

Most Heartfelt Speech

Jodie Foster: The actress, a Hollywood veteran of 47 years, received the Cecil B. DeMille award for lifetime achievement and gave one of the most memorable awards show speeches. Foster addressed her sexuality more openly than ever before, attacked the lack of privacy afforded to stars these days and hinted at a changing career focus. When she paid tribute to her mother, who suffers from dementia, she left many in the audience teary-eyed.

"Mom, I know you are inside those blue eyes somewhere," Foster said. "I love you, I love you, I love you, and I hope that if I say this three times, it will magically and perfectly enter into your soul, fill you with grace and the joy of knowing that you did good in this life. You're a great mom. Please take that with you when you're finally OK to go."

Tony Gonzalez: Sixteen years into a career that will surely land him in the Hall of Fame, the Falcons tight end finally won his first playoff game Sunday. "I've never cried after a win," he told Fox after his team's 30-28 victory against Seattle. At one point, he thought he'd played in his final game: "I was like, 'I guess this is it, I'm gonna go out with a heartbreaking loss' ... I was thinking in my mind, 'It's not fair,' but I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that now 'cause we won! I'm so glad!"