We’re flipping mad this week

AP Photo/Charles Sykes

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn made their red carpet debut at Monday night's punk-themed gala at The Met.

In case you were too busy trying to get the gray dye out of your hair after the Met Gala (I see you, Nicole Richie!), here's the best of the email and Gchat fodder you missed from the sports world and beyond.

BBM is still a thing?

Sloane Stephens, tennis star and apparent media novice, has had a rough several days after candidly telling ESPN The Magazine about her relationship (or lack thereof) with Serena Williams. The 20-year-old said that the two haven't spoken since Stephens' win over Williams at the Australian Open in January and that Williams deleted her from BlackBerry Messenger. Gasp!

While I'm most surprised that people still use BlackBerries, other people seemed amazed that Williams, known for her competitive nature, was not overtly friendly and warm to a woman who is expected to one day take over her reign as the top American on the WTA. Because I'm sure everyone reading this goes out of her way to mentor someone she is actively competing against in her career.

Williams has taken the high road, commenting only on being a Stephens fan and the bright future she believes the young star will have. Stephens, of course, immediately responded with a tweet calling Williams the "GOAT" and saying things are now all good. Of course. I'm guessing Stephens' PR team will be enrolling her in a media-relations class ASAP. Although whatever channel gets to air the next on-court meeting between these two is probably hoping they don't. Ratings gold.

Punk, by Anna Wintour's standards anyway

America's 152nd-favorite couple, Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn, made their red carpet debut together at Monday night's punk-themed gala at the Metropolitan Museum in New York City. Because nothing says punk like a professional golfer and a professional skier in designer clothing!

The apparently bored folks over at omg! Yahoo decided to send four photos over to a body-language expert to make conclusions about their entire relationship. The expert determined, again based on photos at a publicity event, that Vonn was hogging the spotlight, competing with Woods for attention, acting more like a friend to Tiger than a girlfriend and that she actually hates puppies, kittens and adorable videos combining the two. Or something like that. Moving on. Nothing to see here.

Mrs. Doubtfire, FTW!

If you still haven't gotten your fix of the Met Gala (and who has, really?), I think Robin Williams summed up the event perfectly with the following tweet.

AWWWW moment of the week

Matt Kemp will give the shirt off his back for a fan. Literally. After the Dodgers lost to the Giants on Sunday night in San Francisco, Kemp was told about Joshua Jones, a wheelchair-bound fan in the stands with terminal cancer. The Dodgers center fielder immediately went over to the 19-year-old, who has lost his ability to speak as a result of his illness, to shake his hand. The greeting ultimately turned into Kemp signing a baseball and then all but taking off his entire uniform, hat and cleats to give to Jones. Lucky for us, the entire touching event was caught on camera by Jones' friend.

Watch it and you'll actually feel good about being a sports fan.

Sorry, Katherine Webb …

Maxim magazine reminded everyone of its existence this week with the release of its annual objectifying-women list, the Maxim Hot 100. On a list filled with former Disney tween idols (congrats to our former co-workers!), pop singers and supermodels, it was an entry in the high 60s (we'll leave it at that) that might be the most noteworthy. And she doesn't even exist. Lennay Kekua -- you know, Manti Te'o's TOTALLY MADE-UP GIRLFRIEND -- graced the list with a picture of a floating bikini. OK then.

The mag defended its choice with this explanation: "After Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend hoax of 2012, we think it might be nice to have an invisible girl of our own to love. Why not? She's got a ton of great qualities, including looking awesome in a bikini."

Oh, of course! A woman who's not only silent but invisible, too? Every man's dream. While this screams sexism, did you really expect better from a list that judges women solely on their appearance in lingerie?

And if you're outraged by this list in general, you're not alone. Thousands of angry men took to Twitter to express their feelings about … Miley Cyrus being No. 1. Ladies and gentlemen, 2013!

Isn't simple heckling enough these days?

The Miami fan who gained immediate Internet notoriety for flipping off Joakim Noah after his ejection in Game 2 of the Bulls-Heat series happens to be the widow of former CNBC commentator and financial guru Seth Tobias, whose mysterious death prompted stories of wild sex, rampant drugs and a lavish lifestyle. Phyllis Tobias, now engaged to be married for a fifth time, was the subject of a sensational piece in New York magazine in 2008.

If you're trying to kill (no pun intended) time at work today because it's Friday or whatever your excuse is (I don't judge unless I'm paid to do so), check out the story and keep the picture of Wednesday night's middle-finger salute open on your browser simultaneously. You'll be wondering why this isn't a Lifetime movie yet.

Did she drug her husband? Is she just a die-hard Miami Heat fan? Does she look remarkably like "Step by Step"-era Suzanne Somers? I just can't answer these questions. Well, except the last one. The resemblance is uncanny! Regardless, my biggest question is why someone would express such rage in a game in which her team has a commanding lead in the fourth quarter. Could this be a sign of anger management issues? Florida State Police, if you need this type of insightful observation to help crack this case, I'm available. I watched a lot of the Mary-Kate and Ashley mystery-solving videos as a kid, so I'm practically a detective.

The kiss cam strikes again

I'll leave you this week with a video of the greatest staged breakup ever to occur at a Triple-A baseball game in central California.

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