Hats off to the week’s biggest losers
In case you were too busy dreaming of vacation (just me?), here's the best of the email and Gchat fodder you missed from the sports world and beyond.
This doesn't bode well for all those devoutly religious Playboy centerfolds
While Agnieszka Radwanska's nude photo shoot for ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue undoubtedly scored her some new male fans, the pope apparently cannot be counted as one of them. The 24-year-old Polish tennis star had been an ambassador for the Catholic youth group Krucjata Mlodych (Youth Crusade), but was unceremoniously dropped after the magazine hit the newsstands due to her, ahem, "immoral behavior."
Radwanksa is now in pretty good company, though. The same group once condemned Madonna for her perceived anti-Catholic sentiments. And I'm pretty sure the world's fourth-ranked women's tennis player has bigger adversaries to deal with right now. Like Serena Williams and Victoria Azarenka.
No word from whatever church Gary Player attends on his participation in the issue.
What Not To Do If You're A Professional Athlete 101
In "calling all public relations teams currently accepting clients with little to no self-awareness" news, Maurkice and Mike Pouncey wore "Free Hernandez" baseball hats to a Miami club over the weekend. The NFL-playing twins were teammates of accused murderer Aaron Hernandez at the University of Florida and apparently feel strongly enough about his innocence to make it public in the most frat-boy way possible. The bros, who perhaps don't have access to televisions or the Internet despite being professional athletes with large contracts, seem unaware of the compelling evidence indicating that Hernandez was, at minimum, at the scene of the slaying of Odin Lloyd.
The two posed for pictures, smiling, drinking and perhaps ironically, throwing up the peace sign. And to think, I would have assumed sending a letter or visiting my jailed friend would be the best way to support him. Silly me! Looking like a moron in a nightclub while making light of a murder is definitely the way to go here.
Maurkice has since issued an apology and insists he understands the severity of the charges against Hernandez.
Have to assume 49ers fans are now grateful Colin Kaepernick only wore a Dolphins hat in his now seemingly harmless but once controversial photo.
Who's Matt Harvey?
If you haven't seen this yet, you probably are the only person in the country who should stop working so hard and take time to mindlessly troll the Internet. Jimmy Fallon had Mets pitcher Matt Harvey interview Mets fans about… Matt Harvey. The results are comedic gold.
More impressive than anything Rory McIlroy's done this week so far
While we won't know the winner of the Open Championship until Sunday, the clubhouse leader going into the weekend looks to be … Lindsey Vonn. The champion skier and girlfriend of some golfer named Tiger Woods posted a picture on her Instagram account in which she is Dufnering with Fred Couples' girlfriend and the man responsible for the awkwardly awesome Internet trend, Jason Dufner. With the way several of the top golfers are playing so far, this might be the most fun you'll see at Muirfield all weekend.
And in Lolo Jones news…
A few weeks ago, I jokingly suggested we should dedicate a segment of this column every week to the antics of Lolo Jones. And it seems like we pretty much have. Please submit your title suggestions below. I'm currently leaning toward "Did Lolo Jones get in trouble this week?" or "No no, Lolo."
So what did the Olympic-medal-seeking [sport TBD] athlete do this week? You might want to sit down for this. According to reports, Jones allegedly punched fellow bobsledder Aja Evans while at a bar in Lake Placid last Friday. Some accounts of the incident even claim Jones knocked Evans out. And while this already sounds like an extremely poor decision, somehow it gets worse. Evans is the stepdaughter of Tony Carlino, a bobsledding Hall of Famer and the person who runs the Lake Placid training facility. If you're going to fight with someone, making sure it's not someone related to a person who can fire you is usually a good rule of thumb.
Luckily for Jones, the U.S. Bobsled and Skeleton Federation has decided not to sanction her for the incident because they believe "no violations of the team's code of conduct occurred."
I can only imagine how many NFL players are wishing they had the same code of conduct.
Jones has yet to comment on the allegations. But I'm sure we'll all have forgotten about this scandal by the time this column gets posted because she inevitably will have offended someone else on social media by then.
Geography is hard (Fortune 500 company edition)
Nike released a new shirt for the Carolina Panthers on its website recently. There was just one little problem. The shirt had the Panthers logo and "NC" written on top of the state outline … of South Carolina. That, for all you non-Twitter-savvy readers, is what we in the Twitterverse would call a #GeographyFAIL.
Nike has since removed the shirt from its website and apologized for the error. For those who struggle with maps and didn't notice but just had to have that brand-new Panthers shirt, kudos to you. You'll probably make a profit by selling it on eBay. There's a lesson here somewhere. Or at least a Petey Pablo reference. NORTH CAROLINA!
Robin Roberts, FTW
If you didn't watch Wednesday's ESPYS, shame on you. I think I'm obligated to say that. But do yourself a favor and make sure you take the time to watch Robin Roberts' moving and inspiring speech when accepting the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. And if you've already seen it, watch it again. Just make sure you have a box of tissues handy.